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For My Fellas

FMKN For My Fellas | What Men Deal With


Society may have given men a lot of advantages, but that doesn’t mean the average fella isn’t having a tough time out there. The challenges are there. The struggles are there. The failures are there. We just don’t get to hear about them very often. We’re afraid to talk about them. There is always this unspoken message for us to just man up and suck it up. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, when you start to look around, you’ll find that there are a lot of people who are willing to listen and help you out with what you’re facing. What challenge are you facing right now? Now is the time for you to be compelled to be vulnerable and seek support. Join this podcast as Kofi Nartey opens up an honest and unbridled conversation on what men deal with in this tough and cruel world. You don’t want to miss this. It will make you redefine what it really means to be a man.

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For My Fellas

What We Deal With As Men

Hopefully, you guys have been enjoying the Full Mogul journey. I’ve received tremendous feedback. I’ve had my wife as a guest several times and we both have received tremendous feedback and input from you guys that you are enjoying the show so far. If you’re new to the show, welcome. If you’re new to Mogul Nation, welcome. We’re talking about being the highest and best version of yourself across all aspects of yourself.

We’re not just talking to one part of you. We’re trying to talk to all of you, but this episode is a little bit different. I’m rolling solo because our topic is for my fellas. What do we deal with as men? There’s a lot of gravity to this conversation. I want this to be the beginning of the conversation. I thought a lot about it. I have some notes. I wanted to spend even more time crafting this, but I was like, “I have to start because there’s so much to cover, but there’s no way to cover it in one episode alone that I have to start the conversation.”

If this feels like just the beginning, it’s supposed to. If it feels like starting, it’s supposed to. My women out there, for the ladies out there, if you want to read to get a little insight, it’s totally fine. I was thinking about it. I’ll probably even ask my wife to do something for the ladies out there. It was put on my heart and my mind in my involvement with motivating people, teaching people, even in the real estate industry, with speaking to NFL players about professional athletes and life outside of the game.

There’s something that us men deal with. There are several things that we deal with and several challenges that are unique to men. This is not to isolate women. They have a whole different set of advantages and challenges that they deal with. In this episode, I wanted to speak to my fellas because there are only certain moments of access where we get glimpses into that vulnerability that men have. Those guys out there, my guys, some of my best friends, have that level of trust and rapport that the access to the vulnerability is there.

FMKN For My Fellas | What Men Deal With

What Men Deal With: There are several challenges that are unique to men, and there are only certain moments of access where we get glimpses into the vulnerability that men have.


It’s embraced because it’s a safe space. When we’re dealing with people and we’re building and forging friendships, sometimes it takes a lot longer to get to that moment of trust or vulnerability where someone will open up to give you a glimpse of some of the things that they might be dealing with. Let me tell anyone who’s reading at the moment that a man gives you a glimpse. He opens his mouth to say something, to address some of the pain, and some of the challenges that he’s dealing with. There is a lot more going on there because we’ve been taught to pack those things away.

I want to jump into some of the notes that I have. I’m speaking from my heart, my position as a man, my experience as a man, and even specifically to some of my fellow alpha males. There are some additional challenges that we face as people who are leaders and people who are leaders of other men and leaders of people. Not everyone’s wired like me, and I respect that there are so many different personality types. I know that the world requires different personality types to function and for us to respect, relate, and understand each other.

Even to move big ideas forward, it takes different ideas from different perspectives and different personality types. I can only speak on my own. I come from a little bit more of a traditional, chivalrous, and alpha male background, that fight or flight, “I’m going to fight,” background. If I see you down, I’m going to help you up. If I see you in trouble, I’m going to step in and try to help. There are certain things and challenges that come along with that.

Raise Your Hand

I’ve also gained access to some of the pain and challenges that some of my other personality types are facing that I also face in moments. I describe myself as an alpha male, but my birthday falls in the realm of Cancer. I’m right on the Cancer-Leo cusp. I call myself a sensitive lion. I truly am a sensitive lion, but I am a lion. Don’t get it twisted. Let’s jump right into this topic.

One of the biggest challenges that we face as men is that no one truly cares. We hear that a lot. It’s not true. Part of it is that we’re a bit afraid to open up or we don’t have the avenues or channels to open up. Now, in society or institutions in general, there is not a lot of room or space for men to open up, be vulnerable to men, and express the challenges that we have. It ends up being a quiet struggle, depending on what you’re facing. There’s this feeling that no one cares.

No one cares about what’s going on, the challenges, and the pain. If they do hear you, what’s the energy you get back? “Man up, suck it up, and fight through it.” We’ve all heard those things. I have said those things. I’ve said those things to myself, which is also the most impactful, powerful place but also the most dangerous place when you’re saying it to yourself in the wrong moments, where it’s time to get some help and time to reach out and open up.

We have to start addressing some of these things. The source of our support is often when we try or when we’re trying to hold a specific image for ourselves. The challenge that we have as men is we want to maintain a certain image. I’m figuring out some of the ways I want to express this. When we have that image, we can’t ask for support because asking for support is not in alignment with the image that we’re trying to maintain.

I’ll give you an analogy. You’re driving a bus. Let’s call it a bus or a van and there are other passengers on the van. There are other passengers on the van who are relying on you and your hands are on the steering wheel. Both hands have to be on the steering wheel to drive safely. If you need help and you need to raise your hand, you can’t take your hand off the steering wheel because the role of the driver is to keep everybody safe and keep both hands on that steering wheel to make sure everybody stays safe as you’re going through the canyons, cutting through the curves, or whatever it is condition-wise that you’re dealing with. You don’t even have that moment or that time to raise your hand.

There’s another part of you, because I deal with this a lot, that you hear everybody behind you on the van, on the bus, laughing and joking and enjoying themselves and you’ve got that steering wheel. It’s because you’re so strong and mentally tough and you can handle this. That allows them to have the freedom, the joy, the comfort, and the lack of awareness to even be free the way they are. There is something rewarding about that until you reach that moment where you need to raise your hand.

We have this image that we hold. I have an image I hold of myself with this provider, as a father, as a leader, as I mentioned, or even as a coach. There are words like protector, and these are things that we’ve embraced as part of the “traditional culture” and “traditional roles” of masculinity or being a male or being head of household. These are all things that we embrace.

As part of it, it doesn’t allow room for us to show any weaknesses in these areas because people are looking to us so that they can be comfortable and know that they’re protected, provided for, and taken care of. These are things that a lot of us have embraced until it’s time to raise our hands. I keep coming back to that. There are moments where we don’t raise our hand for so long that the challenge becomes or feels insurmountable. There are emotions tied to it, the level of depression, feeling off track, feeling like you’re less than who you should be, feeling like you’re not heard or not respected that you reach that point where it’s like, “F it, I quit. I’m out of it.” That shows up in a bunch of different ways.

Sometimes, we see people bail out on partnerships. We see them bail out on relationships, marriages, parenting, fatherhood, and quitting jobs. There are all kinds of ways that the level of challenge reaches that point of, “F it. I quit,” because life is tough. Work is tough. Relationships are tough. Maintaining your health is tough. The world hasn’t provided much space or support for us men to share these challenges and deal with these challenges.

That time has to change. When we say we have to man up, what manning up is, in my opinion, is raising your hand. There’s nothing manly than that, to be honest. It’s raising your hand and saying, “I need a little bit of help. I need a little bit of support. I’m dealing with something today. I’m dealing with something this week. I’m dealing with something this year that I can use a little bit of support with or a lot of support with, help, an ear, or just to be heard.”

Work is tough. Relationships are tough. Maintaining your health is tough. And the world hasn't provided much space or support for us men to deal with these challenges. That has to change. Click To Tweet

Be Built For Life

Keep it in mind, guys. If you’ve read the Full Mogul, if you’ve listened to me talk, if you’ve heard me anywhere if you know me, I believe I’m built for life. I’m built for the life that I’m living, and part of that is failure. We talk about failing. If you feel like you’re failing, know that that is part of the journey and it’s okay that you are not a failure. It is that part of your life, journey, or experiment. The word experiment is so powerful. It could be a job you’ve had for 2, 3, 4, or 5 years. It still was an experiment.

If you feel like you're failing, just know that that is part of the journey and it's okay. Click To Tweet

It could be a relationship that you tested out. You thought you might get married and it didn’t work out. Technically, it was an experiment. Even if it’s something that you’ve gotten past the point of experimentation and it still doesn’t work out and still “fails,” it doesn’t mean that you are a failure. It’s just part of the journey.

I always say, “FAIL fast and FAIL forward.” FAIL is an acronym. I have two acronyms that I’ve created for the word FAIL, and I want you to embrace both of them. The first one, FAIL fast, Find All Important Lessons, and we do that fast. We want to learn from our failures. When we get down, stay down for a second. Embrace the pain and the challenge like when people lose the championship game. They stay on the court to watch the other people get the trophy.

They want to remember what that feels like because it fuels them. It fuels them to work harder next time and work harder in the off-season because they want to get back to that podium and win. It’s okay to embrace the emotions, just don’t get buried by the emotions. It’s okay to understand the emotions, just don’t get bogged down by the emotions. Don’t get paralyzed by emotions. Take that moment to find all the important lessons.

The second acronym that I have for FAIL is it’s the Fastest Access to an Impactful Life. You will not find exponential success or major success without failure. I read a lot of biographies and autobiographies. If you read them, the most successful people, the ones who have elevated in status and visibility, the millionaires, the billionaires, the multibillionaires, every single one of them, not 50%, 60%, or 70%, but 100% have faced or been on the brink of total failure before they broke through to success.

As a matter of fact, it’s often the moment you declare you’re going to pursue massive success that you get the quickest tests to see if you’re serious about it. You get up in the morning, and you’re going to say, “I’m going to have a great day. I’m going to have an amazing day.” You then get a flat tire. You’re going to have a super productive day. You get to the office, and you forgot your computer charger. You’ve got this big date. She finally said yes to going out with you. You got a new haircut and a new outfit, and two hours before, she cancels.

These are things that we deal with on and off over and over again. In business, you may be on the brink of losing your business, losing your company, not being able to make payroll, and not knowing how you’re going to pay the lease in the building the next month. These are signs that you have pushed yourself to another level. You’ve pushed yourself closer to your ultimate potential and you have to break through.

You may not make it on that specific path. You may fall down, lose that job, lose that home, or lose that what have you, but it doesn’t mean that you yourself are a failure. It doesn’t mean that you can’t pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and fight again. One of my favorite quotes was shared with me by one of my clients. One of my clients used to train with Chuck Liddell. Chuck Liddell is a UFC Fighter.

He told my client one day when they were in the gym. He said, “If I have enough energy to tap out, I have enough energy to figure a way out. If I have enough energy to tap out where I quit, I also have enough energy to figure a way out.” I love that quote because we look at every successful person who’s been on the brink of failure or bankruptcy and found that ultimate success. It’s because they got up, failed fast, and failed forward.

When we look at every successful person who's been on the brink of failure and ultimately found success, it's because they got up. They failed fast and failed forward. Click To Tweet

It’s A Tough Place To Be In

We have some built-in advantages even as men. These are things that, to be honest, I’m working to change that we shouldn’t have. When we look at the number of millionaires out there, it’s 87% of millionaires are men. This means society has provided more access, more avenues, and more resources for men to achieve that status than they have for women. It is an unfair advantage. It is not fair. To be honest, I’m working to change that one because I believe that all people should have access.

Women and men equalize the playing field so that those who work hard, those who have the talent, those who put in the work, and those who have the skills can rise to their full potential. I’m married to a woman who teaches women’s empowerment. I have a daughter who I want to pave every way for her to reach her full potential without limitations. As it stands now, there are more ways and pathways for men to reach this status, reach those statuses, and reach those levels. If you have that door open, hold it open for the next person. Hold it open for the next woman that needs to come through that door.

That’s a side conversation, but it’s important that I share that part too. There are some specific challenges that we also face in these types of roles when you embrace this type of manhood of traditional male roles. It is everything from financial challenges where you may not be making enough money to support not just your family but even yourself. Remember, you are not your challenge. You might be broken for a moment, but your now is not broken. Broke is describing the temporary place that you find yourself in.

You are not a broke or broken individual. You may be broken for a moment, but you’re a thriving, resourceful, talented, resilient, and strong individual who will find their way back to the lifestyle and to the levels that you should and will be living. When we look at the financial challenges, another hedge against that, just as a tip, pro tools, as they say, is multiple streams of income. We have to look at multiple streams of income, different ways of making money, and side hustles. What are you doing? Don’t let your side hustle be a big distraction from your main career if you have a main career that’s super fruitful and you’re all in on it.

Even in your main career, maybe there’re different avenues for making money. I’m in real estate. I got a real estate firm and got agents that work with me. I support them in their growth, but there’s also an investment side where we can make money through flipping properties. There’s also the syndication side where we syndicate the flips. We also look at multifamily. We added short-term rentals as an option. That is multiple streams of income.

I also am building out a coaching program where I’m going to be training and coaching people, sharing what I know. Share my gift, and I’ll never run out. Why not share as much as I can with as many people as I can and do it through a coaching platform? It is another stream of income that I’m building out. We have to look at ways of having multiple streams of income. Men face dating challenges. I’ve been married for many years.

I haven’t had to worry about dating for years, but I can’t imagine what it’s like to date in this time period, where half the dating is happening through apps. I don’t even know if it’s happened. It might be more through different apps. It might be half of it is in person or more if it is in person. I don’t even know. What I do know is it’s still mostly up to the man to step forward, to show interest, which I think is fine. That also means the man has to face a lot more rejection.

I remember having to get over this rejection. One of the things that helped me is facing that failure over and over again. When I was in my freshman year or sophomore year of college, I had a couple of fun roommates. We’re still friends to this very day. One summer, we played this game where if you commented on a woman, you had to go talk to her. This was random, but this was the truth.

If you said, “She’s cute. She has a nice smile,” you literally go talk to her and get rejected if you had to, but face it. If we were driving, they would stop the car, kick you out of the car, go talk to her, go say something, and do it. It was a summer of rejection. It is not 100% rejection, but it’s a lot of rejection but you learn to deal with it. It’s something that we face and something that men face on an ongoing basis, having to figure out the dating rejection, having to dust yourself off and go at it again.

Remember, times have changed. What people are looking for has changed. If you’re getting or facing that rejection, it means that you’re closer to acceptance and finding the right person. People are looking for different things now. Even on the other side, men are forced to approach women who are coming at it from a mindset of, “No, I don’t need this. I don’t need that.” The same thing from the men’s side.

Traditional values have shaped and shifted over the years. It’s hard to know where somebody stands in that place. “Is it okay if I hold the door?” These are things that I grew up doing, but I’ve got a younger brother who’s still dating. He’s dealing with some of these things where he believes chivalry is not dead and some people are like, “I don’t need your chivalry.” That’s a tough place to be in.

You show up for the second date, and you’re like, “We’re going to do that.” They’re like, “What happened to chivalry?” I said chivalry is not dead and you rejected it. It’s a tough place to be in, but remember who you are throughout that whole process. Remember who you’re building, your full mogul buckets of what you ultimately bring to the table for that right person and that right fit.

When The Hero Gets Old

We could do a whole different conversation on relationships, which I’m sure we will, but know again that once you even find that right person, the journey to transition to a life together is a whole other processing conversation. We deal with aging as men. Women deal with aging in a different way and they have different challenges because society holds beauty standards for women. Aging affects how we process our masculinity because masculinity is also tied to our virility and our strength.

You lose strength and get gray hair, but we also have the advantage. We have the advantage of the word distinguished. These men age and become distinguished. Women age and it’s a different process for them, but we do face that. Our bodies change, our backs, our knees, and all the things that we deal with and you lose hair. These are things that you may have tied to what I would describe as your peak masculinity. What is your peak masculinity? It’s when you probably felt the strongest, the most athletic, most handsome, or whatever it is.

The good part is we control not only part of the narrative but part of what we’re doing through the process of aging. The emphasis and the importance have to be on health beyond appearance, but we care about what we look like. There are ways to impact your appearance. It is redefining yourself as you go. I love this when people say, “40 is the new 30, 50 is the new 40, and 60 is the new 50,” because it truly is.

People are eating better and staying healthier, but if you’re not, what do you need to do to get on track with that? We talked about the idea of the roles we play. Not only the roles that we play that society places on us but we embrace. I embrace being a father. I embrace being a provider. I embrace being a leader. I can’t be a great leader, father, and husband if I’m not healthy. The same for you.

For these other buckets that you have in your life, you have to make sure that health remains a priority so that you can help maintain the other buckets, especially the other buckets that relate to the other people in your life. I had a good conversation with a close friend of mine. I call it a good conversation. He might have been like, “Whatever, Kofi.” I give unsolicited advice because I ask for unsolicited advice. He’s a dad like me. He’s got kids like me. He’s at every sporting event like I’m at every sporting event supporting his kids. He is also super busy with business in life, but he’s been letting his health and weight go.

There’s this feeling of being a hero in one category, but you can’t be a hero in the other category. When your bucket gets so low that it’s redlining, that the alarms are going off, that your body is slowing down, it’s time to stop and revisit that. You might have to miss a game. You might have to do something different. You might have to say, “After this game, daughter and son, come walk with me. Let’s go for a walk. Dad needs to go for some walks. Dad needs to go to the gym. Come with me.”

When your bucket gets so low that it's redlining and the alarms are going off, it's time to stop and revisit. Click To Tweet

Step Up And Be A Man

That hero status that you’re facing or embracing in one category of life can totally impact the other categories of life. It can shorten the life that you have to be a hero to that person. That’s the last thing that you want. We hear the word toxic masculinity. It’s another challenge that we have. There are also the benefits of masculinity. There are also times to perform masculinity. I talked about helping others, doing things with others, grinning, bearing it, and fighting through. That’s embracing things that are tied to masculinity.

It’s interesting because, having a daughter and a son, I get to see the processes differently. They’re their processes of development. When they play sports, what happens? How do they embrace the challenge and the fight? There are aspects of masculinity that my daughter embraces in certain moments of her athletic performance. It doesn’t mean that these things are exclusive to men. It means that society has given that label to male behavior.

The fight or flight, the grit, the physicality, and embracing those aspects that are tied off into testosterone and tied to the physical nature of strength and competitiveness. There are moments to embrace that. There are moments for women to embrace it. There are also moments for men to perform masculinity and embrace it. Another challenge that some of my friends have faced and some people I know faced is the lack of that masculine figure to even model after.

There’s sometimes a lack of a father figure. Some people have a dad in their house and still lack a father figure. How deep is that? It doesn’t mean just because you have somebody there that is the person that you can model after or who has provided the pathway or even example for you to model after. Let alone those people who grew up in a household that didn’t have anybody.

You’re looking at coaches, maybe your pastor, and at different places where you can see how to be a man. What does it even mean to be a man? It’s a challenge when you don’t have the examples there in front of you, you don’t have the right examples, or you have limited examples. I was fortunate enough to grow up with my dad in my life every day. He’s a great father figure. I think it’s the nature of young boys to see their dads as heroes.

What does it even mean to be a man? It's a challenge when you don't have the examples there in front of you or you don't have the right examples. Click To Tweet

I look at my son’s eyes as he looks at me, and I can see that I’m still a hero in his eyes. I always want to keep that feeling of being his hero. It’s a unique thing with fathers and sons when you have that. You can even see it sometimes with coaching relationships as you know it, especially if you’re missing the father figure. Sometimes you embrace the coach who’s been a part of your life, who loves you while he’s pushing you and helping you develop through those adolescent phases and is part of that journey. You see that person as a hero in your life.

Sometimes it’s an older upperclassman, a freshman embracing a senior as that guide who helps them through that first year of high school and pulls them under their wing or the sports team, the football team, or whatever it is to help them understand the ways of being then how to navigate that space. These are all cheat codes. When you do have that father figure or when you do have that person in your household, it’s like having that cheat code. Sometimes you have to find that. You have to find the cheat code and find the examples that you want to embrace.

We have these ideas of villains, victims, and heroes. A lot of times, the men are expected to be heroes. We’re expected to be heroes. We’re called on to be heroes. It doesn’t mean women can’t be heroes because I have a lot of women heroes in my life. A lot of times in our society, in tradition, we are expected to be heroes. There are aspects of the hero role that are specific to us.

Understanding that moment when to be a hero or how to be a hero is important for us to define and discuss. There’s pressure. There’s pressure to step up in that fight or flight. Sometimes you should flight. Fly and move away. Diffuse the situation. There’s nothing stronger. When I say fight or flight, I’m not coming to punch somebody. I’m not coming to fight somebody. I’m not going to let my loved ones be pushed around, bullied, intimidated, and talk to a certain way.

It doesn’t mean that fighting is the first option. It doesn’t mean that. A couple of years ago, I may have been like, “Let’s go. What do you want to do?” At this age, I have wisdom beyond that. It doesn’t mean that you back down from the challenges, but it doesn’t mean that it has to escalate or should escalate to that level of the physical nature. These are all tough-in-the-moment decisions that we’re forced and expected to make as men. It’s not easy.

If you aren’t built that way and you have to learn that or if you aren’t built that way and you’ve never learned it, you’re not going to be that way, then there are other challenges you face in terms of judgment. These are things that we have to talk about. We have to be able to have safe spaces and talk about scenarios and talk to our friends like, “What would you do in the situation? How would you handle this?”

If not, all of these different things that we face as men and as challenges overwhelm us. You can find yourself in that hole of depression. I always say, “Are you in a hole of depression or a hole of despair? If you are, how do we convert that to a hole of preparation versus a hole of desperation?” If you’re sitting at that moment, remember what I said earlier, to embrace the feelings of failure, challenge, and defeat and use them as fuel for the next iteration of yourself.

Part of that fuel leads to a plan. That plan is part of your preparation. You have to see how quickly you can transition from desperation to preparation because the desperation will hit. It will hit for a week, a month, six months, or just days or even hours. It could even be hours. There are certain moments where you’re like, “This sucks and I’m pissed off. I’m mad and disappointed. I may be a little bit depressed. I might be depressed overnight and eat like crap. Whatever it is.”

The next day, it transitions from desperation to preparation. “What do I need to do to get to that next version of myself?” I’m going to encourage you to attack life the same way and know that the other side of the challenge, overcoming the challenge is one of the most rewarding feelings that we can have, especially as men embracing these roles. It is being able to provide, take care of ourselves, take care of others, and be a leader at the moment that it’s time to lead. It’s one of the most rewarding feelings.

Being a leader in the moments when it's time to lead is one of the most rewarding feelings. Click To Tweet

The meal always tastes better when you’re hungry. It’s hard for you to appreciate a great meal if you had a good meal. When you’re hungry and that meal shows up, when you have worked hard, failed, felt all the challenges, and finally reach victory, you finally reach that accomplishment. Every aspect of that tastes better. Every aspect of that is good because being in contrast or the challenge creates a greater appreciation for the other side of things. One more step each day.

I love what Ed Mylett says. Ed Mylett has a great podcast that I listen to, the Ed Mylett Podcast. He wrote a book called The Power of One More. He talks about that. When you’re in those moments, do one more thing. Go one more day. Can you make it one more day? One more action. It is the power of one more. When we look at the evolution of masculinity over the years, there’s actual wisdom in even that experience that we can access through our readings.

Here is one of the books I read. I’m going to have to post a picture of what it looks like next to my bed. I probably have seven books next to my bed now. Normally, I have 1 or 2. I have one book that I’m reading and one book that I’m rereading because I always say reading new books but also reread the highlighted parts of the last book you read so you can own the information. I have about 6 or 7 books that I’m jumping back and forth between.

You Hold The Cards

One of them is The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. It’s a great book. What I love about that book is it quotes and it references a lot of amazing philosophers. What’s interesting is some of the greatest philosophers and warriors talk about strength, the power of control, and controlling your emotions. We talk about this fight or flight, and I’ve referenced it several times. It’s not always about who’s the quickest to anger and who’s the quickest to a physical reaction but who’s the quickest to a thoughtful controlled response.

I love that about it. The gift of this journey is that we do hold the cards. Remember when I talked about driving? I’m coming back to this reference about driving the van and everybody’s behind you happy and you need to raise your hand because you need help, but you can’t raise your hand because you’re driving the van. Do you know what you can do? Turn on your blinker and pull over. Take a moment. We do hold the cards to the outcome, but we can only control what we take responsibility for. Your hands are on the steering wheel of your life, so you control your life.

We do hold the cards to the outcome, but we can only control what we take responsibility for. And your hands are on the steering wheel of your life. Click To Tweet

If you need help, a timeout, to pause, and to pull over, do it. Find somebody, whether it’s somebody close to you or sometimes it’s even easier to reach out to a stranger. It is somebody with experience, like a psychiatrist or a psychologist but someone who doesn’t know you to judge you based on past experience with you or knowing your history, somebody who’s going to come at it from a fresh approach.

FMKN For My Fellas | What Men Deal With

What Men Deal With: Control your life. If you need help, if you need a timeout, if you need to pause, if you need to pull over, do it.


If you do reach out to somebody you know, it’s got to be somebody absent of the judgment of who you are and who you have been, but somebody is a safe space to do so. Find your trusted circle where there is no judgment. They don’t hold anything against you but they’ll also be honest with you in that moment or space where they allow you to be vulnerable.

I’m blessed to have a few friends. I can count them on just one hand, but I have a few friends like that where I can be 100% vulnerable with them and tell them exactly what’s going on because there’s zero judgment. They know they can use me in the same way. You have to take care of yourself. Take care of yourself mentally and physically. Being physically healthy can even help with being more mentally health healthy.

It can help with dealing with stress. As I referenced before, you can’t be a hero to others until you’re a hero to yourself and you take care of yourself first. The last couple of things is to find your faith. If you don’t have a religious foundation, you have to have some life philosophy that helps tether you to and that you can come back to in those moments of challenge. There’s nothing more powerful than having a word to come back to, having a book to come back to, and having a religious leader to come back to whom you can anchor yourself.

A lot of times, it’s not the person but the words behind that person that you can use to anchor yourself. I read a lot of motivational stuff, but I also have my faith-based anchor as well. I want to finish up by saying this to my fellows. Know that whatever you’re dealing with, somebody else is also dealing with. Whatever you’re challenged by, other people are also challenged by. It may not be in the same way, but the only way we’re going to know, the only way we’re going to get past it, and the only way we’re going to work through it is to raise our hands.

I want you to know that you’re heard. I hope this episode was helpful. I want you to know that you’re appreciated. Sometimes those moments feel like a thankless journey, the challenges of life, or even if you’re going in it alone and don’t even have someone that you have to take care of or support but you’re going it alone in this world. This world is fighting you back, beating you down, or kicking your butt from time to time. Know that you’re loved as a human being on this earth and that the world has an appreciation for you and the highest version of you. Let’s get to that highest and best version of you.

I hope this was helpful, Mogul Nation. It is a little bit of a different angle, different energy but just necessary. We will continue this conversation. If this was helpful for you, please reach out to me and let me know that you heard it and that it is helpful. Maybe it was helpful for somebody in your family or you’re going to share it with somebody in your family. We will continue on our mogul journeys.


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